Out with the old and in with the new

Well it’s been a while since you heard from me. Hope everyone had a wonderful christmas. It’s that time of year where everyone is starting to look at the year in review. Every kind of review imaginable, from music to film and tv, politics and even the odd personal review. I’m not going to harp on about all the wonderful and not so wonderful things that have happened in the gay community this year, from the repeal of DADT recently to the persecution of Constance McMillen a lesbian teenager who just wanted to go to her prom with her girlfriend or the spate of gay bullying and teen suicides.

But I will talk a little about my year. I haven’t been in the blogging sphere up until recently so a lot of these things will be ones that you won’t know.

I started the year out hopeful. I was sure that this year would be different, better than any that went before it. I was sure I would meet someone incredibly important this year. I don’t know whether I have or not. Despite having met this person (yes, it’s a woman) all the way back in March, I still don’t know what role she will play in my life. We have been taking things ridiculously slow. There are things both of us need to overcome so why should we try and rush forward? Perhaps the only goal of this year was to meet her? Maybe 2011 will be the year that things really change.

But aside from my very lacking love life, there have been changes, some of them for the better. I’ve finished another year at uni, I have more hours at work and have branched into management. I have started coming out to my friends. I have realised that I am not bisexual as I had always thought I was and am suddenly coming to terms with a new identity as a lesbian. It still feel foreign but at the same time it’s right.

A lot of things have stayed the same though and I am thankful for the friends who are still around (sad for the ones who aren’t), and I’m happy for my two cats and my dog who have all survived another year. And I am happy that I still have things to look forward to. 2010 may not have been everything I had hoped but I now have plenty of things to look forward to for 2011.

What would life be without a gratuitous Chely Wright photo (which is totally relevant because she came out earlier this year... and I just wanted an excuse to google her)

 

Christmas Withdrawals

With lots of shows on hiatus until after the new year I’m starting to have withdrawals from all the lovely ladies on my TV screen so I thought I would take a moment to indulge in some withdrawal pics of some of them.

Emily Deschanel (Bones)

 

Mariska Hargitay (Law and Order: SVU)

Stephanie March (Law and Order: SVU)

I know she’s not in the show anymore but those glasses are just so gosh darn hot I couldn’t resist

Stana Katic (Castle)

Angie Harmon (Rizzoli and Isles)

God I love those cute little dimples

Sasha Alexander (Rizzoli and Isles)

Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother)

 

Pauley Perrette (NCIS)

Cobie Smulders (How I Met Your Mother)

You’re welcome

It’s getting cramped in here with all these clothes

There have been a lot of well publicised coming out stories this year from Ricky Martin to Chely Wright (god I love her) but there have been an equal number of stories about LGBT discrimination, from lesbian high school student Constance McMillen who’s prom was cancelled to multiple teen suicides believed to be motivated by LGBT bullying. For those of us (like me) who are not quite out yet (or not out to everyone) stories like these can be both empowering but also scary. Yes, coming out can be a wonderful thing (see Chely Wright) but it can also result in bullying and discrimination. So what do you do?

That’s the question I’ve been asking myself. This all started about the time I caught the episode of Ellen with Chely Wright as the guest. I had never heard of her or her music but I was deeply touched by her very country accent and her story. How bad must things have gotten for her to come so close to killing herself? I needed to know more. If she had managed to overcome such obstacles perhaps I could too (I suffer from depression). I looked up her music on youtube and immediately fell in love with her. I watched as many interviews with her as I could and eventually got my hands on a copy of her book (It’s amazing, get your hands on it if you haven’t already).

Right, my love for Chely Wright was not the point of this post. I was talking about coming out. There was a point to me bringing up Chely Wright though, watching that episode of Ellen with her on got me thinking a lot about coming out myself. Up until that point hardly anyone in my real life knew, except a girl I was in love with when I was 13 but I found myself experimenting with telling people. I told a friend at work who was leaving the store, her sister is bisexual and I know she has gay friends so I didn’t think it would bother her. That went well so I started telling other friends, some of them knew already, some of them didn’t, one of them has pretty much ignored it ever since, in fact I think she might have forgotten. But the two things I haven’t done are tell my parents and tell most of the people I work with.

I guess you’re thinking my parents are probably religious or otherwise unaccepting of homosexuality but the truth is that as far as I know they have no problem with it, my mother even told me when I was younger that she would be okay if I was gay. And the people are work with are mostly good people too and the opportunity has occasionally arisen for me to reveal who I am to people, however I feel as if there are certain people I should tell before I tell others and I have never been in a situation to tell any of those people.

Back to my parents though. I feel as if the issue is that it has just been hidden for so long and I don’t know if I want to answer the inevitable ‘how long have you known?’ and then see the disappointment that I didn’t tell them sooner. So of course I’m putting it off even longer, catch 22 much? I actually do want to tell them and I am working towards doing it. I want for them to know who I really am. I want for everyone to know who I really am. But for me it is a complicated and ongoing process. I guess this was just a bit of a message for those of you out there in a similar position. There are plenty of people out there saying it will get better and I definitely appreciate that.

But more than that, I appreciate the wonderful accepting people I have found in various places, both the internet and real life who have allowed me to be myself.

Gen Y

The most common complaint about us Generation Y’ers is that we’re lazy and are moving out of home later, depending on our parents longer and apparently not doing much of anything. What all these people aren’t telling us is that it’s not Generation Y’s fault. At least not completely. Let’s look at the facts.

– Gen Y is more formally educated than any other generation, this means they’re spending more time at university and if they’re spending more time at university the majority of their time is taken up by studying leaving less time for work and thus less time to earn an income and thus less income to allow us to move out of our parent’s homes.

– There are fewer employment opportunities. With fewer chances to get jobs because the majority of the employment market currently consists of Generation X’ers and Baby Boomers who are not yet of retiring age (especially when retirement age and life expectancy are ever increasing). With Gen Y’ers having less chances to get jobs they have less chance to earn money and move out of home/start a family of their own.

These two points alone mean that no matter how much Generation Y’ers might want to get out from under their parents wings and start their ‘adult’ lives they are forced to remain at home for various reasons. I suggest therefore, that it is not Generation Y who is lazy in fact we might even be working harder than older generations in order to get the things we want because they are becoming increasingly unavailable to us. I know that personally, I feel a great need to move out of my parents house but I am currently studying and although I work part time and could perhaps afford to move out (it would probably be a struggle) I would barely be existing, so it is not by choice that I put off moving out of home and beginning what many term ‘my adult life’. I want to start it. But society is making that damn hard right now.

Lesbian Cliches

Last night I was reading a book. In this book I found a list of the supposed fashion trends for Generation Y, which for the record I am a part of. Two of these fashion trends caught my eye, the Gen Y’ers are supposed to love Doc Marten’s and cargo pants. Why not throw in a tank top and you’ll have a complete lesbian outfit. So that got me thinking about lesbian cliches. Everybody seems to have their own opinion of what exactly makes a lesbian cliche. So here’s my own list:

• Tank tops – yep, sure there’s plenty of straight people running around in tank tops but the gay girls really know how to wear them.

Exhibit 1: Shane

• Converse shoes – you were all expecting me to say DM’s weren’t you? But the majority of my lesbian friends hang out in their high-tops not DM’s, maybe it’s a sign of the younger generation but DM’s aren’t the footwear of choice for coming of age lesbians anymore.
• Dogs – the pet choice for lesbians everywhere (okay massive generalisation but there is definitely supporting evidence)

Exhibit 2: Ellen and Portia (also fulfilling numbe 1 on this list)

• The lesbian haircut – this haircut it unexplainable to people who are straight but a gay girl can pick it from 100m away. Notice i didn’t say bad haircuts because I actually find lesbian haircuts pretty hot.
• The U Haul – Okay, we don’t have U Hauls in Australia, but there is no denying that lesbian relationships tend to progress a lot faster than heterosexual relationships
• K. T Tunstall and Tegan & Sara – I know, older lesbians will tell us all about the Indigo Girls and Melissa Ehteridge but these days it’s all about those sexy sisters and the girl who isn’t ours but seems like it.
• Slogan t-shirts – pride slogans, cartoon characters, our t-shirts are all about attitude.

Exhibit 3: Chely Wright, long before we knew she was gay we knew she loved slogan tees

Well that’s my list. Yes, some of them are massive generalisations and won’t apply to you but i’m sure they all apply to someone you know at the very least.

Stop the ranga bashing!

I have never understood why people give redheads so much crap. Not just because what does hair colour really matter, but also because i actually find redheads incredibly hot. So in honour of this I decided to share some redheaded eye candy with you. They’re not all natural redheads (like you can even tell these days anyway) and some of them are better known for other hair colours but they have one thing in common, they are all damn hot as redheads.

I can’t help but start this off with the sceptical 90’s FBI agent, sexy as hell in a pantsuit, or a sweatshirt, actually, anything… or nothing.

Gillian Anderson... yes the hair is a little longer than we're familiar with but worth the sacrifice for the hotness of this pic

Isla Fisher

Another 90's icon... Geri Halliwell of the Spice Girls

Relative newcomer Emma Stone

Drew Barrymore, but she looks hot with any hair colour

And finally… the best of the 90’s television icons (don’t try and argue that with me)

Alyson Hannigan (better known as Willow from Buffy, or just the lesbian witch)

Do I have to continue? Clearly redheads can’t be bad can they? Not when they have all these lovely ladies on their side.

A Partnership Made in Heaven (or Boston)?

I can’t believe that I have been so out of the loop that I didn’t hear about this sexy and so gay pairing earlier. Where have I been the last few months and why did nobody tell me that two of my favourite crime show actresses had teamed up in a whole new crime drama that’s gayer than the Feast Festival (a huge gay festival that runs in my home town in November… but that’s for another time). Back to what I was talking about. And yes, I’m talking about Rizzoli and Isles. What genius… taking Abbie Carmichael of Law and Order (played by Angie Harmon) who also coincidentally starred in the short lived Women’s Murder Club as Lindsay Boxer but who we haven’t seen much of recently.

Abbie Carmichael left and Lindsay Boxer right

And Caitlin Todd (Sasha Alexander) of the first two seasons of NCIS, who we also haven’t heard much of recently

Sasha Alexander as Caitlin Todd

Okay, this photo isn’t really related but it does show off Sasha Alexander’s (cough) assets rather well and I couldn’t resist drooling over it just a little bit more.

Sasha Alexander

Now… what was I saying before I got distracted by Sasha Alexander’s assets? Oh yes, total genius combining Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander to create Rizzoli and Isles… mmm, delectable.

Rizzoli and Isles... doing yoga (supposedly)

Seriously? For two supposedly straight women they spend a lot of time sharing a bed

The Obligatory Introduction

Welcome to the Everyday Lesbian… a place for the every day lesbian. Well actually a place for anyone who wants to come and visit I suppose.

Well here I am… Ellen DeLesbos (no, that isn’t my real name) but I will tell you a few real things about myself. I’m 20 years old (heading towards 21 in a couple of months). I have only recently begun to identify as a lesbian. For the past 7 or 8 years I have been bisexual, call me cliche, but it’s who I am. At 20 years old, I am finally getting ready to tell people I like women, not that I like dating women more than men, but simply that I like women. Even my parents are unaware of it so far.

I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t been aware of my attraction to women early in life. At the age of 7 I remember having the hugest crush on the shy, geeky, redheaded Willow Rosenberg from Buffy. Everyone else I knew was drooling over Hanson. I knew then that I was different to everyone else. My girl crushes continued, Sam Carter from Stargate SG-1, Dana Scully from the X-Files, Julia Roberts, Drew Barrymore even Margaret Houlihan from MASH. In hindsight it actually seems ridiculous that I was unaware of my own lesbianity for so long.

Let me leave you all with a lovely image of my own childhood crush:

Willow Rosenberg